The title of this post is a bit of a misnomer. It’s outright manipulation, actually. It was meant to draw you in for what is seemingly a controversial, topical debate wherein strong, opposing views can be voiced and people can yell at each other on the internet. This is not that. It’s a Trojan horse and you just let it through your gates.
***
Let’s start at the beginning with a baseline on which most of us can agree:
On ‘Yeezus’, Kanye is, at turns, misogynist, hateful, bigoted, insensitive, profoundly narcissistic, violent, hypersexual, and haunted by (I don’t know, let’s go with) all the demons. He wields sex as a weapon of control, he deifies self-indulgence, and he compares his first world problems and desire for sexual conquest to the struggle for civil rights. He claims divinity. He points out racial injustices but muddles his message by talking about getting revenge through sex. He’s impatient, rude, unsafe, and uninterested in anyone else’s problems that don’t directly relate to his own comfort and safety. He seethes with anger at any perceived slight even while freely insulting anyone and everyone around him. He is undeterred by and unaware of his own hypocrisy. His defense mechanisms are impregnable.
Okay, so here’s a contention that probably less of you will agree on:
This is all starting to sound a bit familiar. Like, really familiar. Personal.
Maybe that’s too much too soon. Let me try this approach:
I’m recognizing myself in a lot of what Kanye’s saying. Most of it. All of it. In the dark, unexamined corners of my heart and mind I harbor thoughts, perspectives and ideas that can find root in every little awful thing I just listed up there.
They jump into conscious thought and action more regularly than I would like to admit.
***
I find it easy to demonize Kanye. I mean, just re-read that list up there. Even if you’re thinking some of those things why would you ever talk openly about them to the rest of the world?! The natural conclusion is that he is either a clueless bigot or a calculating sociopath.
Right? That’s definitely what I want to think. That’s the easy path forward. And it may even be the factually accurate truth - It could be the case that Kanye West is, in real life, a clueless bigot or a calculating sociopath. I don’t know the guy. I’m not here to defend him as a person. I have no idea what his relationships look like or how he deals with his hopes and fears.
‘Yeezus’ as an album is a different matter. It’s art.
What is art for?
I’ve grappled with this question over the course of my life - At times, I’ve fashioned myself as something of an art critic, giving out imaginary gold stars to “good art” and my disdain to “bad art”. Actually, who am I kidding? I’m still doing this. I never stopped.
But I have been on a long journey with respect to art and I think I’ve gained at least a little perspective.
Namely, art is not useful simply as pleasurable entertainment but as a journey of self reflection. Surely we can all agree that gazing at the Mona Lisa, walking through the Parthenon or listening to Bach are experiences that simultaneously evoke pleasure and self-reflective vulnerability. Who am I? Who are we as humans? What is our purpose? What is my purpose? We let the experience wash over us. We forget ourselves while somehow also being more in tune with ourselves. We perceive larger purposes and meanings in the world around us. We also connect with the artist.
It’s easy to do this with beauty.
The hard work of self reflection comes when the medium necessarily evokes our own ugliness.
***
My own story has been marked by unhealthy, repressed emotionality. My default emotion is anger.
Not doing well in a board game? Anger.
Grandpa died? Anger.
Can’t find car keys? Anger.
Problems at work? Anger.
Wife feels sad? Anger.
Feeling depressed? Anger.
Sports team loses? Anger.
Only have 2 hours to relax instead of 3? Anger.
Stubbed my toe? Anger.
Somebody is wrong on the internet? Anger.
Entrenched injustice around the globe? Anger.
This could continue for awhile.
My defense mechanisms are impregnable. When healthy emotionality would call for sadness or fear or hurt or annoyance, I feel anger.
My journey over the last year has been the agonizingly slow process of learning to feel my emotions. Of learning to fully accept who I am and what I’m feeling and know that I am safe to viscerally feel things other than anger. Of treating my default anger as a signal of distress that something else is going on deeper in my emotions that needs to be investigated, reflected upon, processed and expressed.
My friend, Kyle, has introduced me to the ARIA process, which is a tool for conflict resolution and peacemaking. Here is my personalized conception of the four steps that must be journeyed through:
1. Adversarial Framing: This is where we feel the anger and define the conflict as us vs. them. We feel the injustice, the antagonism, the ‘fuck you’ that wells up from deep down inside.
2. Reflexive Reframing: This is reflection on why we feel this way, what needs are not being met, what parts of our identity feel threatened and why. Here, we reframe the anger or the conflict, creating resonance in such a way that we understand more of ourselves, more of the core causes and the other side of the conflict. It is here where I personally might understand that I’m not actually mad because I lost the boardgame but I’m mad because I felt stupid and embarrassed because losing something has certain negative connotations for my identity.
3. Inventing: When possible, we develop a cooperative, collaborative approach to resolving the conflict that takes into account the core causes discovered above. We’re inventing a creative solution.
4. Agenda Setting: Make a plan and carry it out.
The 2nd point has changed my life. The first 29 years of my life were spent stubbornly dug in at the 1st point - feeling the anger, seething, sensing injustice around every corner and just living in that space. Occasionally, I would jump straight to the 4th point and just try to make a quick plan that would fix things - but since I spent ZERO time in reflection and reframing, the solution was bound to eventually fail because it did not address the core causes.
So I am now slowly but purposefully walking on the path of processing my own emotions. Of reflection and reframing. Of not taking my anger at face value but treating it as a deeper signal. Of seeing the world around me as replete with invitations to enter more fully into this journey.
***
‘Yeezus’ never leaves the 1st point, either. It just camps out there. It builds an indestructible fortress. It seethes with anger and injustice. It’s 40 minutes of unrestrained Id. It’s not interested in reflecting on all the things it’s feeling.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I feel my own entrenched tendencies to do these same things.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I’m confronted with the horrors of the human soul and how all those awful things are a part of me too.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I hear the mess of life, the good and the bad all mixed together and indistinguishable from each other.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I have a decision to make.
Do I allow myself to feel? To let it wash over me? To enter into the process of reflection and growth? To accept myself as I really am? To engage in the mess?
Or do I demonize. Ignore. Repress. Stay at the 1st point. Find the easy scapegoat. Refuse the invitation to deeper, fuller vulnerability. Shut down the process. Moralize. Exit.
The choice is mine.
The choice is yours.
Push play.
***
Let’s start at the beginning with a baseline on which most of us can agree:
On ‘Yeezus’, Kanye is, at turns, misogynist, hateful, bigoted, insensitive, profoundly narcissistic, violent, hypersexual, and haunted by (I don’t know, let’s go with) all the demons. He wields sex as a weapon of control, he deifies self-indulgence, and he compares his first world problems and desire for sexual conquest to the struggle for civil rights. He claims divinity. He points out racial injustices but muddles his message by talking about getting revenge through sex. He’s impatient, rude, unsafe, and uninterested in anyone else’s problems that don’t directly relate to his own comfort and safety. He seethes with anger at any perceived slight even while freely insulting anyone and everyone around him. He is undeterred by and unaware of his own hypocrisy. His defense mechanisms are impregnable.
Okay, so here’s a contention that probably less of you will agree on:
This is all starting to sound a bit familiar. Like, really familiar. Personal.
Maybe that’s too much too soon. Let me try this approach:
I’m recognizing myself in a lot of what Kanye’s saying. Most of it. All of it. In the dark, unexamined corners of my heart and mind I harbor thoughts, perspectives and ideas that can find root in every little awful thing I just listed up there.
They jump into conscious thought and action more regularly than I would like to admit.
***
I find it easy to demonize Kanye. I mean, just re-read that list up there. Even if you’re thinking some of those things why would you ever talk openly about them to the rest of the world?! The natural conclusion is that he is either a clueless bigot or a calculating sociopath.
Right? That’s definitely what I want to think. That’s the easy path forward. And it may even be the factually accurate truth - It could be the case that Kanye West is, in real life, a clueless bigot or a calculating sociopath. I don’t know the guy. I’m not here to defend him as a person. I have no idea what his relationships look like or how he deals with his hopes and fears.
‘Yeezus’ as an album is a different matter. It’s art.
What is art for?
I’ve grappled with this question over the course of my life - At times, I’ve fashioned myself as something of an art critic, giving out imaginary gold stars to “good art” and my disdain to “bad art”. Actually, who am I kidding? I’m still doing this. I never stopped.
But I have been on a long journey with respect to art and I think I’ve gained at least a little perspective.
Namely, art is not useful simply as pleasurable entertainment but as a journey of self reflection. Surely we can all agree that gazing at the Mona Lisa, walking through the Parthenon or listening to Bach are experiences that simultaneously evoke pleasure and self-reflective vulnerability. Who am I? Who are we as humans? What is our purpose? What is my purpose? We let the experience wash over us. We forget ourselves while somehow also being more in tune with ourselves. We perceive larger purposes and meanings in the world around us. We also connect with the artist.
It’s easy to do this with beauty.
The hard work of self reflection comes when the medium necessarily evokes our own ugliness.
***
My own story has been marked by unhealthy, repressed emotionality. My default emotion is anger.
Not doing well in a board game? Anger.
Grandpa died? Anger.
Can’t find car keys? Anger.
Problems at work? Anger.
Wife feels sad? Anger.
Feeling depressed? Anger.
Sports team loses? Anger.
Only have 2 hours to relax instead of 3? Anger.
Stubbed my toe? Anger.
Somebody is wrong on the internet? Anger.
Entrenched injustice around the globe? Anger.
This could continue for awhile.
My defense mechanisms are impregnable. When healthy emotionality would call for sadness or fear or hurt or annoyance, I feel anger.
My journey over the last year has been the agonizingly slow process of learning to feel my emotions. Of learning to fully accept who I am and what I’m feeling and know that I am safe to viscerally feel things other than anger. Of treating my default anger as a signal of distress that something else is going on deeper in my emotions that needs to be investigated, reflected upon, processed and expressed.
My friend, Kyle, has introduced me to the ARIA process, which is a tool for conflict resolution and peacemaking. Here is my personalized conception of the four steps that must be journeyed through:
1. Adversarial Framing: This is where we feel the anger and define the conflict as us vs. them. We feel the injustice, the antagonism, the ‘fuck you’ that wells up from deep down inside.
2. Reflexive Reframing: This is reflection on why we feel this way, what needs are not being met, what parts of our identity feel threatened and why. Here, we reframe the anger or the conflict, creating resonance in such a way that we understand more of ourselves, more of the core causes and the other side of the conflict. It is here where I personally might understand that I’m not actually mad because I lost the boardgame but I’m mad because I felt stupid and embarrassed because losing something has certain negative connotations for my identity.
3. Inventing: When possible, we develop a cooperative, collaborative approach to resolving the conflict that takes into account the core causes discovered above. We’re inventing a creative solution.
4. Agenda Setting: Make a plan and carry it out.
The 2nd point has changed my life. The first 29 years of my life were spent stubbornly dug in at the 1st point - feeling the anger, seething, sensing injustice around every corner and just living in that space. Occasionally, I would jump straight to the 4th point and just try to make a quick plan that would fix things - but since I spent ZERO time in reflection and reframing, the solution was bound to eventually fail because it did not address the core causes.
So I am now slowly but purposefully walking on the path of processing my own emotions. Of reflection and reframing. Of not taking my anger at face value but treating it as a deeper signal. Of seeing the world around me as replete with invitations to enter more fully into this journey.
***
‘Yeezus’ never leaves the 1st point, either. It just camps out there. It builds an indestructible fortress. It seethes with anger and injustice. It’s 40 minutes of unrestrained Id. It’s not interested in reflecting on all the things it’s feeling.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I feel my own entrenched tendencies to do these same things.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I’m confronted with the horrors of the human soul and how all those awful things are a part of me too.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I hear the mess of life, the good and the bad all mixed together and indistinguishable from each other.
When I listen to ‘Yeezus’, I have a decision to make.
Do I allow myself to feel? To let it wash over me? To enter into the process of reflection and growth? To accept myself as I really am? To engage in the mess?
Or do I demonize. Ignore. Repress. Stay at the 1st point. Find the easy scapegoat. Refuse the invitation to deeper, fuller vulnerability. Shut down the process. Moralize. Exit.
The choice is mine.
The choice is yours.
Push play.